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You Never know what’s around the next corner.
Beauty Lies everywhere, but not everyone perceives it.
When someone tells you, “I love you,” and then you feel,” Oh, I must be worthy after all,” that’s an illusion. That’s not true. Or someone says, “I hate you,” and you think, “Oh, God, I knew it; I’m not very worthy,” that’s not true either. Neither one of these thoughts hold any intrinsic reality. They are an overlay. When someone says, “I love you,” he is telling you about himself, not you.
When someone says,“I hate you,” she is telling you about herself, not you. ; World views are self views—literally.

Worlds

“Everybody has a secret world inside of them.

All of the people of the world, I mean everybody.

No matter how dull, boring and uninteresting they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds.

Not just one world.

Hundreds of them.

Thousands maybe.”

Nostalgia

As the day gets darker, after the sunset, the clouds gathered, looking dark and gloomy.

The shop was situated facing the main road, vehicles, motorcycles returning home after a long day of work and hustle, honks and lots of street noises can be heard around…

The hairstylist moves her fingers through the hair of my mother swiftly, beautifying her hair, like performing art…

The adjoining shop, was her husband’s a barbers shop. He was in there attending to a costumer, Fela’s tracks blaring from the radio, danceable tunes🎶

The three ladies, talking about everything, including frequent hand gestures and making funny faces and laughing out loudly…

I was just sitted trying to make up everything happening in my small head, I wish the clouds gathering would let the rain shower on us, a part of me wants to play in the rain, another part of me has gone into a nostalgic place, far to when I was little and didn’t have to bother so much about my passion in life.

SICK

Eyes redden with sunken saggy bags, nose drippy and blocked , lips cracked and sore, face white, banality and pale.

Rib cages prominent, limbs lean and shrunken, skin cracked, white pus filled, with an offensive triggering smell.

Leg blacken, rickety and cracked out in an oddly ugly fashion…

Legs too lanky to adjust the weight of the head. 

The head the largest part of his body “hydrocephalus”

With every step he takes the “glu glu” sounds get to echo in his head….

Affirmations

I know that this may be hard to believe, and it’s actually cliche, but:

you are not a burden. you deserve happiness. you deserve to be listened to. you are so strong. you are kind. you are amazing.

your situation right now is not your forever. it’s going to get better. your best is good enough. you are good enough. you are beautiful. you deserve to live your best life. you’re working so hard.

you’ve gotten through everything that has been thrown at you so far; you can get through this too. you are worth so much. you are wonderful. you can choose positivity.

your past does not define you. your mistakes do not define you. your grades and achievements do not define you. your mental health does not define you. your struggles do not define you.

it’s never too late to try again. it’s never too late to start. you are cared for. you are valued. you are so important. i am so proud of you. you’re going to be okay.

“Talk of God”

We made a connection that night …

Him and I were like twins separated at birth.

Same interest and same views , we finished each other’s sentences.

When describing himself, he said he was God sent, I let him believe such because maybe I thought so too.. Maybe just maybe for a second, I believed in his words.

A pure soul to soul awakening is what I felt and for the first time.

I loved how when he stared at me, his eyes gleamed beams of light, his aura made me feel so fine..

I would ask why in such a trans and he would say my beauty was the cause.. I couldn’t help but to cover my face, and smile to myself.

He’s a dope boy, his accent rolled off his tongue and into my heart causing eruptions of the blood and made me feel hyped..

He’s wild but free, he’s calm and soothing, his smile is made of white sapphires, how brightly it shines ..

He’s from a town called KZ, meaning big blood and just on the east of Z is where he lies , where a soul as sweet as wine holds his presence ..

Any woman who has gotten to experience him in full form, has slept with an angel …

She’s the lucky one and that is the only person I can say I’m jealous of.

Easy, easy like a Sunday morning breeze, that’s how he makes it so natural to speak to his soul, I feel my spirit leave its external shell to reunite inside his words …

I alway fall into a hypnotic phase.

I want us to dance to reggae under palm trees and I want him to hold my hand as we cross the waterfall stone by stone ..

Step by step I want to embrace him and show him what life is like outside the border of Africa & I want him to showme what it’s like outside of my cage …

Here, I’m just a black bird , but there I can be anything. Maybe God himself is speaking right through to him, maybe we are just too silly and too young to understand ..

Whatever it is I hope I get to write about him again

I hope I get to lay in my bed and dream of him more, I hope I can be the source to ease his agony ..

I can see all that lies in his eyes and I want to heal his wounds, I want to purify his inside waterfall from salty to fresh water ..

I’ve got to know how he feels .

We both know he’s just a man & I am just a woman but if energy so pure can travel across the world , that’s energy I want in all forms .. Friendship , lover , doesn’t matter ..

The talk of God , we had that & it was lovely.

Soul

We live on borrowed time, on borrowed land, on borrowed dreams, and in borrowed bodies.

It is the soul that struggles despite the ease and amenities, because it is the only thing we have to ourself.

Its needs are unique but simple; neither of this world nor from it. It begs for a status worthy of its sacrifice, so when it sees us walking away from it, it protests.

That hole in our chest, the void nothing can fill, the tears of extreme sorrow, regret, and repentence are the soul’s way to bridge the gap between this world and it’s final home.

We burn the bridge time and time again, fall through the hole, and rise from the ashes of our own mistakes but do we learn? The soul begs and questions: what would it take for you to stop hurting me, to stop hurting yourself? It’s met with silence, often ignorance, and a loss so profound that no amount of worldly good can fill.

The soul departs everynight, it deserts us only to return, hopeful for a change. It gives us another chance to stand in front of the mirror every morning and ask the question: who am I today?

What do I avoid?

I avoid pepper 🌶🌶🌶, ( I’m a pepper-dem gang sha💃🏼)

That’s heavily spiced food… by spiced, I mean peppered foods. Oh wow!!! I eat very little or no pepper at all.

Peppered food burn my chest, make my brain 🧠/ tongue 👅 feel like it has molten lava in it, ready to explode… plus I have a lot lot of heartburn.

I love suya, but the pepper in it is OMG, deafening… makes my tongue to ‘lose guard’ ahhh….

Milk and Yorgort has always been my savior, but sometimes the pepper just proves unruly, and won’t want to cool down…

Comfort Zone

It’s only after you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone that you begin to change, grow, and transform into being better person.

We’ve all been scared at one point or the other to take the leap, to a path into a great beyond.

But we hold ourselves back, because we’re scared of the unimaginable. Fear is deadly, it’s a killer of opportunities. It can be very overwhelming.

Trust God and the process! Don’t be afraid of change.

She’s Leaving Soon

She’s tired mentally

She want to end it all, the urge to leave is on the high now. Sadly no one notices.

She feels worthless, small, useless, dumb, stupid, silly and up to no good.

She don’t think she deserves anything good.

She’s just wasting air, occupying space and wasting people’s time and life’s.

She feels so terrible, She’s not depressed, she just don’t think she’s that strong anymore.

A lot, she wish she knew earlier

Life’s tiring at some point 

Her’s has always been tiring…

She wants to go, but Family is just that one thing that believes and trust in her and she steady keep failing them.

Forgive her

Her heart is heavy and damp

She’s “your favorite cup of positivity” but now she needs all that positivity.

Her head tells her if she leaves, people would remember her for a while, at least it’s worth it. They’ll pray for her and wish she were still here

Surprisingly, she’s not depressed. She’s just disappointed in herself.

She’s more than this, but She has been overwhelmed by all of her pains.

We’re all not as strong as we look.

Don’t miss her when she’s gone

Things I Enjoy Doing at the Moment

•I enjoy night strolls with my mom, we get to bond, talk things through, make jokes and appreciate nature. I appreciate her a lot. ♥️

• I enjoy sitting at home, and watching Nickelodeon (the casagrandes is currently my new favorite) 💯💯

• I enjoy drinking Caprisonne 🍹, my favorite go to drink. For Valentine, I’d like a packet of Caprisonne from my anon☺️🤔 hope that isn’t too much to ask for 😕 Orange 🍊 and Apple 🍎 flavors.

• I’m enjoying this new app called Clubhouse, it’s an in voice app, where you talk rather than type… it’s actually fun because if you don’t want to talk, you can just listen to others talk. And I’ve met a lot of nice people on there.

• I enjoy making up and taking pictures for my self satisfaction with my ring light.. I’m obsessed with it 🤪🤪🤪 it has rainbow 🌈 color mix and a lot of other colors aside white light.

• I enjoy shopping online, ayyyeeee💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼 I’m addicted actually. I shop for everything and anything beautiful ✨✨✨

• I enjoy making myself hot cup of tea. I deserve all the hotness 🥵🥵🥵 it has a way of warming my inside.

• I enjoy checking my mails everyday now… and I have a pen pal, she’s nice and sweet.

• I’m enjoying this new snack called vegetable crackers. It’s delicious 😋💯

• I enjoy writing down everything that goes on in my head/mind… because I’ve got a very beautiful world in my head and it’s nice to share. I like daydreaming ☺️☺️☺️